President OBinay

Makati City Mayor Jejomar “Jojo” Binay on Tuesday announced his intent to run for president in the 2010 national elections,He announced his intent during the 66th Foundation of the Makati City Hall.

Cong.Teddy Boy Locsin has introduced Binay as The “Obama” of the Philippines,But the difference according to them is that No one questions about Binay’s Experience when he Seated in The City’s High office.

Well,For me,Every Filipino Politician has the Right to Claim that They are the “Obama” of the Philippines,Tutal May Maitim naman sa kanila….YUNG BUDHI!

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When asked who will be His Running Mate,Mayor Binay Said : “Kahit sino,Basta yung May Buhok sa Noo ha?”

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The Philippine government rejected a request to defer a refund of foreign currency fees collected by the Manila Electric Co. (Meralco).

MERALCO Consumers were happy about this,ABS-CBN Talents felt dis-appointed.

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The Main reason why MERALCO wants to defer their refund is that they could not Give all the Refunds at The same time since They have to do 3 Diferrent refunding tasks.[First is the P 3.9 B CERA Overcharge,Second is the P 2.9 B Meter deposit "Scam",Third is the P 30 B Overcharging from 1994-2003]

If the ERC will not grant their petition,The utility Co. will get another Loan just to repay their Consumers…Paano yan Eh di madadagdagan na yung P 3 Billion na Utang ng ABS-CBN?

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In other News,Bayani Fernando has been Declared as the Newest Celebrity Duets Champion [Though for me,It is QUITE expected]…Of course MMDA Employees were happy,But Most of our Drivers are still wondering how it happen since they had voted for Phil Younghusband.

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EXCLUSIVE : THE HEADLINES TEAM recently got some reactions from Different Personalities,As well as the Ordinary Filipino People,With regards to Bayani Fernando as The Celebrity Duets Champion,Here it is.:

Marikina Mayor Maritess Fernando : Galing talaga ng Stategy ng aking honey,Pag di kasi nila binoto ang asawa ko,Wala silang NFA Rice!

Melanie Marquez : It’s not my problem Anymore….It’s my Brother’s Problem anymore!

Phil Younghusband : Bekeyt siyeh eng Binowtow niyeow? beykeyt dei ekow? Ekele ko bei mes gweypow ekow se kenyie? Geleyng kow nang Mag-tegelowg now?

First Daughter Luli Arroyo : Bwisit ka JC,Ang laki ng Ginastos ko para lang Iboto ka,Nag-Loan pa ako sa Bangko para lang sa Load na gagastusin ko sa iyo,Tapos matatalo Ka lang?!?!? Sumagot ka baklita ka,SUMAGOT KAAAAAA!!!!!!

MMDA Traffic Enforcer : Sir,Nanalo na kayo…Baka pwede na niyong ibalik yung Load na inubos ko para sa inyo?

Bus Driver : Okey lang na manalo siya,Basta ba after that,May Kotong Holiday ang mga Tauhan niya?

Barack Obama : Bayani Fernando WHAT?????

And Last But NOT the least :

ABS-CBN : This is non-sense,The Other Network has given P 500 and Groceries to some texters So that they could vote for Fernando!

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BATTLE OF THE HEADLINES :

Broadsheet : Binay,Obama of the Phils. – Locsin

Tabloid : Binay,Maitim ang…..ang…..ang…..Balat! – Locsin

FOX News Slogans

FACT : The FUCKs….I mean,FOX News Channel was greatly Disappointed with the US Election Results last November 4 Where Barack Obama has beaten John Mc Cain,The most Favorable Candidate of that “News Channel” [But in my Opinion,it's a COMEDY Channel!]

I have seen their News Anchors’ Faces,And I tell you what,It seems that they were in a Burial that time…..

I don’t think they are still living on their Slogan,”Fair and Balanced”,That’s why I have come up with this Suggestion : Changing their Corporate Slogan.

So Here now are The list of FOX News’ New Slogans…Hope They Like it…

FOX NEWS CHANNEL : Paid in Balance!

FOX NEWS CHANNEL : We put The EEEEEEEWWW in the News!

FOX NEWS CHANNEL : The News Channel for People with Severe Brain Damage

FOX NEWS CHANNEL : 50% truth…100% lies

FOX NEWS CHANNEL : Fair and Balanced…Except for the Democrats!

FOX NEWS CHANNEL : Mental Institutions’ Most Watched News Channel

FOX NEWS CHANNEL : Here LIES

FOX NEWS CHANNEL : Home of the Greatest Mathematicians ever!

FOX NEWS CHANNEL : Death to the Muslims!

FOX NEWS CHANNEL : KILL OBAMA!!!!!

And Last but not the Least

FOX NEWS CHANNEL : We Live on O’Reily’s Central Philosophy,To respect our Guests…..BY SHOUTING AT THEM!

Special Report : US Elections Part 2

Senator Barack Obama is now The United States’ 44th President…Well,My Initial reaction is…I was SHOCKED…REALLY SHOCKED….WHOA!!!

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Though in terms of percentage,it was a close fight,Senator Obama was miles ahead over Senator Mc Cain in terms of Electoral Votes,According to MSNBC,Obama got 339 Electoral Votes while Mc Cain Got 149.

Mc Cain won in Alabama, Arizona, Arkansas, Idaho, Kansas, Kentucky, Louisiana, Mississippi, Montana, Nebraska, North Dakota, Oklahoma, South Carolina, South Dakota, Tennessee, Texas, Utah, West Virginia and Wyoming. He also won at least 3 of Nebraska’s five electoral votes, with the other two in doubt.

Meanwile,Obama got California, Colorado, Connecticut, Delaware, the District of Columbia, Florida, Hawaii, Illinois, Indiana, Iowa, Maine, Maryland, Massachusetts, Michigan, Minnesota, Nevada, New Hampshire, New Jersey, New Mexico, New York, Ohio, Oregon, Pennsylvania, Rhode Island, Virginia, Vermont, Washington and Wisconsin,But wait! Before you react,African Countries are NOT included in his Votes!

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According to the Exit Poll done by the Associated Press,Sen.Obama is popular to Women,Hispanics and of course…Afro Americans.

While Majority of People who Voted for Mc Cain were Men,White Americans and War veterans,And an Unconfirmed Report that most of those white american who voted for him were his relatives.

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Republican John McCain concedes the presidential race to Barack Obama, saying the Democrat has achieved a “great thing” for himself and the country with his historic victory.

McCain — with wife Cindy on one side and running-mate Sarah Palin on the other — urged his supporters to put aside partisan differences and work to get “the country moving again.” Speaking from outside the Arizona Biltmore Hotel in Phoenix, McCain told his supporters: “It’s natural tonight to feel some disappointment. Though we fell short, the failure is mine, not yours.”

And if Mc Cain accepted his Defeat,Goerge W. Bush Didn’t.

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COMPAIRING THE ELECTION IN THE US AND THE PHILIPPINES :

In the US : After the Votes were casted off,There will be Tow types of candidates,The First one is The Winner and the Other one is the Loser,Of course,The loser will accept his defeat.

In the Philippines : After the votes were casted off,There will be also Two Types of Candidates,The First one is the Cheater and the Other one has been Cheated.

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FUTURE NEWS :

Obama Wins ; Africans Jumped for Joy

Obama Wins ; Charcoal,Black Suit and Blacksmith Business Boomed

Obama Wins ; FOX News Dis-appointed,O’reliy to commit Suicide

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In CHEESE : Dingdong Dantes finally confirms his break-up with Karylle,When asked why,he said it is Personal,Though for me,It is Obvious…Aw!…I mean,Ouch!

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BATTLE OF THE HEADLINES :

Broadsheet : Caringal,Versoza’s Wife to go back in Moscow

Tabloid : Caringal at Asawa ni Versoza,May “HONEYMOON” sa Moscow?

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JOC_JOC JOC…..BOLANTE!

Question : What is Rey’s Real Surname?

Answer : GAN.

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PERSONALS :

I’m Very much Happy Obama made it…Though I was depressed because his grandma didn’t seen it while she is Alive,But I know that she is with our Creator right now.

May GOD’s Guidance be with Obama….Always!

Have a Nice Day Everyone!

Special Report : US Elections

Barack Obama has the Biggest Chance of Winning the Race for Presidency in The United States,The World’s Powerful Country.

It seems that The US was Enlightened by An Afro-American.

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Senator John Mc Cain,However,Said that he won’t be waiving his White flag unless the votes are casted,He’s confident he will win,While saying it,His Pants turned WET.

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The Commission on Elections [COMELEC] of the Philippines is observing the Polls for the 2008 US National Elections,The Commission wants to know the Process of Election Automation in the Said Country so that in 2010,They will use it for Cheating in Favor of PGMA’s bets…

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BREAKING NEWS : The Batangas Coffee Farmers have created a New Coffee Variant inspired by The 2008 US National Elections,This new variant is Darker than Any other Coffee Variants in the World.

The New Variant will Be Called KAPENG BARAKO……BAMA.

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US ELECTION SLOGAN :

Barack Obama : Change…We Need

John Mc Cain : Country First

Eliseo Dela Paz : Money CHANGEr for the COUNTRY of Euros.

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FUTURE HEADLINES :

Barack Obama wins ; America will be having a “BLACK” christmas this Year.

Barack Obama wins ; America sees new LIGHT

Barack Obama wins ; Charcoal Business boomed

Barack Obama wins ; Arroyo jumped for Joy.

Barack Obama wins ; Mahmoud Ahmadinejad sighed in Relief

John Mc Cain : “Obama Cheated ; He called Garci”

John Mc Cain : “Obama Cheated ; He brought flying voters from Africa.

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JOC-JOC-JOC…. BOLANTE!

QUESTION : Ano ang Tunay na Apelyido ni Chris Tiu?

SAGOT : Ferminit,Pwede ring Ferdelion…..

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PERSONALS :

I Hope that The Next President of the United States will Implement REAL Reformation in their Government,He should think that His Country that he is ruling Right now is The Most Powerful in The World,Hence,He should Humble his Country and always remeber to Put his Feet on the Ground,Because For me,A Humble Person will be Raised by GOD.

PS : Don’t forget to send me some Dollars!

Have a Nice Day Everyone!

No JOC : He’s Back!

Jocelyn “Joc-Joc” Bolante returned to the Phils. after several Years of “Hiding”,The Senate assumes that this will be the end of Their Investigation regading The Fertilizer Fund Scam,Executive Sec. Eduardo Ermita,However,Told the Media that The Government wasn’t worried about Joc-joc’s Comeback,His voice is Somewhat Shaky while saying this.

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President Arroyo says she’s not worried about Joc-joc’s Return in the Country,Her knees were shivering and Her Long skirt is wet while saying this.

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Anyways,Is it true that The Brand Name of The Dextrose that St.Lukes is giving to Joc-Joc Bolante is “UREA COMPLETE”?

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EXCLUSIVE : The HEADLINES News Team was given by the Senate a Chance to Interview the “Architect” of Fertilizer Fund Scam,Mr.Jocelyn “Joc-Joc” Bolante via Phone,Here now is the transcript of that Interview :

HEADLINES TEAM [HT] : Hello,Sir

JOCELYN “JOC-JOC” BOLANTE [JJ] : Yes,Who’s This?

HT : We are from the HEADLINES Blog,We want to get your side on The Fertilizer Fund Issue,Is it true that it has been used as The Administration’ Campaign Fund for The 2004 Presidential Elections?

JJ : Sorry,I could not answer your Question right now…

HT : Why not?

JJ : I am in the Hospital Right now

HT : And why are you in the Hospital?

JJ : Of Course,I’m not feeling well,I am sick!

HT : And why are you sick?

JJ : Because I…A…hey,Wait a minute,Why are you asking me like That?

HT : And why not?

JJ : Are you Crazy,You should Know the Answer!

HT : And why do you think we Know the Answer to that Question?

JJ : A….What the…Oh my God,This is terrible,You’re Insane!

HT : And Why do you think we are Insane?

JJ : Because You are asking Non-sense Questions!

HT : How sure are you it is Non-sense?

JJ : You’re so pathetic?

HT : If we are pathetic,Then How about you?

JJ : I will go Crazy because of You!

HT : If you will go Crazy,Then Why are you there in That “General” Hospital? You should go to a Mental Institution or See some Psychiathrist…

JJ : You know what,I don’t know who are you,Or What’s on Your Bloody mind,For I am sick of your Non-sense Questions…Stop Asking That way!

HT : Of course we Should,We are the Interviewer,That’s why we are asking…Isn’t it obvious?

JJ : ***Silent Mode***

HT : Now,before we end this,May I know why did you answer all of our questions even If you don’t want to answer because you are in the Hospital?

JJ : ***A loud bang was heard from his place,It seems that he has thrown his Cellphone…:***

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Special Report : Anime Titles that suit a Personality,Politician or a Thing.

US Presidential Candidate Barrack Obama : Darker than Black

MMDA Road Signs : Read or Die

Willie Revillame : Devil May Cry

Philippine Congressmen/Sen.Manny Villar/MERALCO : POKEMON [Pocket Monsters]

Tim Yap,John Osmena,GUCCI Gang : Super GALS! / Green-Green

Sen. Jamby Madrigal : Absolute Boy

EX – PNP Controller Eliseo dela Paz : Mysterious Thief Pride

PNP General Jesus Versoza : Elfen LIED

Estonia Computer Hackers : DIGIMON [Digital Monsters]

Baron Guisler/John Estrada : Power Stone [You know what I mean]

Nadia Montenegro : Super Boink

Annabelle Rama and Cristy Fermin: Monster [Not Monster Mom...Just Monster]

And Last but NOT the least :

Philippine President Gloria Arroyo : Jigoku Shoujo

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BATTLE OF THE HEADLINES :

Broadsheet : Joc-joc Bolante to Face the Senate ; Malacanang dedma.
Tabloid : Joc-joc,Haharap sa Senado ; Arroyo,Sumakit….ANG TIYAN.

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FOOD FOR THOUGHT BY IMBE : There are Some poor people who Steal because They have Nothing,But There are some rich people who Steal NOT because They don’t have any,But because they want to have More.

OTOBER 31 is a Working Day…Magsipasok kayooooo!!!!

Have a Nice day Everyone!