Jocelyn “Joc-Joc” Bolante returned to the Phils. after several Years of “Hiding”,The Senate assumes that this will be the end of Their Investigation regading The Fertilizer Fund Scam,Executive Sec. Eduardo Ermita,However,Told the Media that The Government wasn’t worried about Joc-joc’s Comeback,His voice is Somewhat Shaky while saying this.

***

President Arroyo says she’s not worried about Joc-joc’s Return in the Country,Her knees were shivering and Her Long skirt is wet while saying this.

***

Anyways,Is it true that The Brand Name of The Dextrose that St.Lukes is giving to Joc-Joc Bolante is “UREA COMPLETE”?

***

EXCLUSIVE : The HEADLINES News Team was given by the Senate a Chance to Interview the “Architect” of Fertilizer Fund Scam,Mr.Jocelyn “Joc-Joc” Bolante via Phone,Here now is the transcript of that Interview :

HEADLINES TEAM [HT] : Hello,Sir

JOCELYN “JOC-JOC” BOLANTE [JJ] : Yes,Who’s This?

HT : We are from the HEADLINES Blog,We want to get your side on The Fertilizer Fund Issue,Is it true that it has been used as The Administration’ Campaign Fund for The 2004 Presidential Elections?

JJ : Sorry,I could not answer your Question right now…

HT : Why not?

JJ : I am in the Hospital Right now

HT : And why are you in the Hospital?

JJ : Of Course,I’m not feeling well,I am sick!

HT : And why are you sick?

JJ : Because I…A…hey,Wait a minute,Why are you asking me like That?

HT : And why not?

JJ : Are you Crazy,You should Know the Answer!

HT : And why do you think we Know the Answer to that Question?

JJ : A….What the…Oh my God,This is terrible,You’re Insane!

HT : And Why do you think we are Insane?

JJ : Because You are asking Non-sense Questions!

HT : How sure are you it is Non-sense?

JJ : You’re so pathetic?

HT : If we are pathetic,Then How about you?

JJ : I will go Crazy because of You!

HT : If you will go Crazy,Then Why are you there in That “General” Hospital? You should go to a Mental Institution or See some Psychiathrist…

JJ : You know what,I don’t know who are you,Or What’s on Your Bloody mind,For I am sick of your Non-sense Questions…Stop Asking That way!

HT : Of course we Should,We are the Interviewer,That’s why we are asking…Isn’t it obvious?

JJ : ***Silent Mode***

HT : Now,before we end this,May I know why did you answer all of our questions even If you don’t want to answer because you are in the Hospital?

JJ : ***A loud bang was heard from his place,It seems that he has thrown his Cellphone…:***

***

Special Report : Anime Titles that suit a Personality,Politician or a Thing.

US Presidential Candidate Barrack Obama : Darker than Black

MMDA Road Signs : Read or Die

Willie Revillame : Devil May Cry

Philippine Congressmen/Sen.Manny Villar/MERALCO : POKEMON [Pocket Monsters]

Tim Yap,John Osmena,GUCCI Gang : Super GALS! / Green-Green

Sen. Jamby Madrigal : Absolute Boy

EX – PNP Controller Eliseo dela Paz : Mysterious Thief Pride

PNP General Jesus Versoza : Elfen LIED

Estonia Computer Hackers : DIGIMON [Digital Monsters]

Baron Guisler/John Estrada : Power Stone [You know what I mean]

Nadia Montenegro : Super Boink

Annabelle Rama and Cristy Fermin: Monster [Not Monster Mom...Just Monster]

And Last but NOT the least :

Philippine President Gloria Arroyo : Jigoku Shoujo

***

BATTLE OF THE HEADLINES :

Broadsheet : Joc-joc Bolante to Face the Senate ; Malacanang dedma.
Tabloid : Joc-joc,Haharap sa Senado ; Arroyo,Sumakit….ANG TIYAN.

***
FOOD FOR THOUGHT BY IMBE : There are Some poor people who Steal because They have Nothing,But There are some rich people who Steal NOT because They don’t have any,But because they want to have More.

OTOBER 31 is a Working Day…Magsipasok kayooooo!!!!

Have a Nice day Everyone!

The Members of Philippine Chamber of Commerce and Industry[PCCI] said on Friday that they had asked MERALCO to postpone their Plans for a Rate Hike since The World Economy is still in Red,And to think of their Social Responsibility to the Public.

MERALCO,However,Reacted to the said Statement : “What Social Responsibility? Wehave to think of ABS-CBN’s Talents…Sumusweldo rin kaya sila?”

***

Today,The Energy Regulatory Commision [ERC] recently ordered the deferment of MERALCO’s Rate Hike due to a Petition Submitted by NASECORE,Requesting the Utility Co. To return what they have overcharged to its Costumers.

The NASECORE was very happy with the Decision,The PCCI thought it was right,ABS-CBN said it was ILLEGAL.

***

EXCLUSIVE : ABS-CBN recently Conducted an “Employees’ Opinion” survey asking on whether the ERC’s decision to stop MERALCO’s Power Rate adjustment was influenced by the Government or Not,They all said NO,When asked why,They replied: “Because It was GMA-7 who influenced them”

***

THE MAIN NEWS : After some years of hiding,Jocelyn “Joc-joc” Bolante will be sent back to the Philippines as soon as possible,The Philippine National Police [PNP] is now preparing for his arrival,PNP will escort him as soon as he arrives,and be brought to The Headquarters of The National Bureau of Investigation [NBI],When asked what will they do to Bolante,They replied : “We will hide him Somewhere in CAVITE [Joc-joc-joc!]

NEWS UPDATE : Joc-joc Bolante will be returning home tonight [Around 11:00 PM Philippine Time] to face the Charges against Him,The Senate prepared a Room for his Overnight Stay there once he gets arrested,The NBI and the PNP,However,prepared his Burial somewhere in Cavite.

MORE NEWS UPDATE : Joc-oc Bolante is Finally Back! The Senate Authorities brought him to a Hospital after his arrival due to unknown Illness [Or I doubt if he really is sick],To which the PNP says : Ay,sayang! Pinasadya pa naman namin yung Kabaong dun sa Cavite!”

BATTLE OF THE HEADLINES:

Broadsheet : Dela Paz,3 Others will face cahrges on Russia Mess
Tabloid : Dela Paz,haharap sa asunto,Misis ni Versoza,Lusot!

PERSONALS :

Have you watched “Experience GMA” last night? What do you think about it?

I have seen the trailer of it on YouTube but then I lost my interest on it when I saw Those Mariposas in one of Regine’s performances,I guess Louie Ignacio directed that Special

CHANGES :

The owner of this Blog will be Launching another Specialty Blog Newt Week,Due to that,There will be some Changes in Updating this Blog.

I’ll be Updating this Blog every Monday,Wednesday,Friday and Sunday…I hope you will still view and Support my Blog,Thank you Very much!

NEXT HEADLINE:

Joc-Joc Bolante’s return
Special Report : Anime and Politics

Several days after he announced that he and his colleagues in the “Euro” generals Team will atted The senate Investigation on the Moscow Trip Scandal,Retired PNP General Eliseo Dela Paz did not appear in the said hearing [Nor his shadow], And with that,Sen.Miriam Defensor Santiago ordered the Senate Sergeant of Arms to arrest them immediately,Meanwhile,PNP Gen.Jesus Versoza ordered his men to look for them,He suspected that That Dela Paz is hiding in a Motel,Together with Versoza’s wife.

***

Several Days after he boastfully announced that he will attend the Senate Inquiry on The Moscow Trip,Retired PNP General Eliseo Dela Paz didn’t show his face in the Senate,It means to say that the Male Version of Patani [of Survivor Phils.] doesn’t want “Over-Exfosyur” anymore since he won’t run for any position in 2010.

***

A group of public school teachers on Thursday filed before the Court of Appeals a petition seeking to nullify some policies of the Government Service Insurance System (GSIS),They accused GSIS president Winston Garcia of implementing Such policies that were against their rights,Including “CLIP” [Claims and Loans Interdependency Policy],GSIS,However,Denied these accusation,And tells that they were being black-mailed by MERALCO.

***

NASECORE will file a petition on the Energy Regulatory Commission to withdraw its decision on allowing MERALCO to implement such rate hike,Our KAPAMILYAS got mad at the petitioners.

***

BATTLE OF THE HEADLINES :

Broadsheet : Dela Paz,no show in Senate
Tabloid : Dela Paza,Misis ni Versoza,Nagtatago

GMA News : NASECORE,aapela sa ERC para pigilan ang rate Hike ng MERALCO
TV5 News : Rate hike ng MERALCO,Di makatarungan ayon sa Ilang kongresista
ABS-CBN News : GMA at TV5,Naghihiganti sa ABS!

***

NEWS UPDATE : The ABS-CBN network and The “Buzz” main host Boy Abunda will make a public apology on the Sunday afternoon talk show for the “uncontrollable behavior” of Cristy Fermin during an interview on Oct. 5 regarding her feud with Nadia Montenegro,told the Inquirer,The apology was due to the libelous statements that Fermin has said against Montenegro,Abunda is said to be joined by ABS-CBN News’ Maria Ressa in begging repentance to the Public.

The “Euro” Generals had arrived in the Philippines at around 1:15 PM,In a Press Con hours after the group arrived,Ret. General Eliseo Dela Paz said that he,Together with other generals included in That Moscow trip said that they are ready to Face the Senate and the Lower House’s Inquiry regarding to this matter,He also beg PNP’s repentance for the scandal he has Made,And for Not bringing some Pasalubongs for them.

***

The “Euro” generals and their spouses CAME several days after being interrogated by Russian Customs Officials,Said PNP General Jesus Versosa,And with that,A pervert reacted : “WHAT? Several days? Tagal nun ha? Ako nga 10 Minutes lang,Bagsak na!”

***

ERC had approved the Power Hike filed by Meralco,Starting November,Residential consumers using up to 200 kilowatt-hours of power monthly would be paying 77.84 centavos per kwh, or 36 percent more, as distribution charges, the ERC said in its decision released on Tuesday,However,The ERC ordered them to Pay back P 3.9 Billion to their Consumers from the Companies’ Over-recovery using the Currency Rate adjustment [Popularly known as CERA]…See? Paano niyo mababayaran ang Utang ng mga Lopez,Puro kayo Refund?

DISCLAIMER : If you are a Fan of Simon Atkins or Chris Tiu,Do NOT read this!

Regal Entertainment and APT productions will be producing a Basketball-Inspired Film featuring heartthrobs Chris Tiu of Ateneo Blue Eagles and Simon Atkins of Dela Salle Green Archers,The producers said that they were the first choice for this Movie due to their Impact as Basketball Stars,However,They denied those rumors that they are actually Producing a Gay film and That Tiu will be Atkins’ Leading LADY.

Some members of The United Nations had already expressed their fears about North Korea’s Dis-armament,They feared that The Communists’ State would change its mind and Continue in doing some Nuke Experiments Outside NoKor,The Philippine Government,However,Quickly Denied that these Plans will be transfered in Mindanao.

***

EXCLUSIVE : Due to some difficulties in paying their Creditors,The Lopez Group of Companies will launch a TV Ad Campaign so that the Public would help them in Paying their Debt amounting to P 120 Billion.

Here now is the Transcript of that Ad.

LOPEZ GROUP OF COMPANIES [LGC] TV AD (30 Seconds)

SFX : Horror Themed Music

JUDAY : Bagsak na Ekonomiya

CLIPS : News Clips of Lehman Bros and AIG’s Bankruptcy

JUDAY : Bagsak na Ratings

CLIPS : The Latest AGB Nielsen TV Ratings Report

JUDAY : Bagsak na Pamamahala

CLIPS : Employees’ Rally outside ABS-CBN and MERALCO’s Investors Meeting

JUDAY : Kaya tuloy,Bagsak ang aming Kumpanya.

CLIPS : LGC’s Latest Financial Report

JUDAY : Hahayaan niyo bang Magsara kami?

CLIPS : Wille Revillame Crying without tears

JUDAY : Tulungan niyo kami….Mag-donate sa WOWOWEE!

***

CURRENCY EXCHANGE:

€ 105,000 = Get caught by Foreing Customs Officials = Senate and Congress Inquiry = Free publicity for 2010

***

BATTLE OF THE HEADLINES:

Broadsheet : Divers prepare to retrieve bodies [in Sulpicio Tragedy]
Tabloid : Divers,Handa nang Sumisid

***

PERSONALS :

I would like to thank those who greeted me in my Birthday last Sunday [Oct.19]…I could not mention their names because they are a lot many,Anyways…From the bottom of my heart,I thank you all,May GOD Bless us Always!